Thoughts from the Top
👁

It looks intentional.
Domestic terrorism, a hate for the U.S. Figure Skating team, a test for Trump's cabinet, I don't know what happened. I don't have the answers. I don't know who does.
But this does NOT just happen accidentally.

The American Airlines flight held multiple members of the U.S. Figure Skating team, their coaches, and parents. The Blackhawk Army helicopter held three soldiers on a training mission. Flight logs show that the helicopter confirmed seeing the plane moments before impact. The plane was a few hundred feet from their runway. My entire heart is with the families waiting for their loved ones to be pulled from the Potomac River.

CBS News Live, Youtube

Cannabinoid Hyperemesis Syndrome

... written in the most sickening font I could find. Listen. I was completely aware that this would happen at some point and that I have been in the early stages for who-knows-how-long. Caused by my sole use of THC vapes all day, every day, for years. My body got so dependent on marijuana that it is now doing a 180 and rejecting it. I am so sick that I even considered being pregnant (I'm not) and went to urgent care, leaving only with nausea medicine (which is helpful, considering I didn't get a diagnosis.)

This obviously started as a different illness i.e. whatever virus is going around, because Caleb was sick first, then I got sick. But he is long since better, and I? Strugg.

Wedding Day Details

Rooted Image Pics

oh yeeeeeeeet they are finally here
so many and each so amazing

Our Bride and Groom Squads

Couple Photos

Family Photos

Our Beautiful Ceremony

Our Bangin' Reception

Transferrable Skills and Upward Mobility

It has truly been one of the roughest weeks of my adult life, and it is only Wednesday. I am so tired. But, compared to last week, my face skin is so clear!

Okay, seriously. We worked nonstop all weekend on the Holmes' house, and were beyond ready to be home with our cats by Sunday night. Something always has to complicate the evening. Three words:

Fantasy effing Football.

I'm continuously amazed by how childish some adults can be, and by what people are really willing to end friendships over. I'm also shocked by the things people admit to our boss, even if it means I get the last laugh.

Long story short, I plan to stay here until Summer 2026, at which point I will "re-evaluate what I want to do
with my life, explore my options, and hopefully move on."

Uncle Rick Pics

Rehearsal and Dinner

Ceremony

Reception

We had an abundance of help for the entire day. We could not have pulled it off without all of our family, friends, and even people I've never met!

We did the damn thing. It was magical.

It literally could not have gone more perfectly. Every moment, the looks, and the weather were a dream. So ready to see the final photos from Rooted Image.

We Get Married in 4 Days!♥

Ahhhh! It's finally hitting me. We are so ready and so excited and I think everything is prepared. We are all praying the weather cooperates, even if only from 6:45-7:45PM please God.

8/22/2024

It is no exaggeration when I say that this has been the longest week of my life.

Saturday, August 17th was our Wedding Shower at Pepino's Mexican Restaurant. It could not have gone better, with great food, gifts, games, and a great turnout of family and friends.

Sunday was Braum's Family Fun Day at Frontier City, which we look forward to every year. Except that it was 107 degrees with no breeze. BUT, for the first time ever, Holten won BINGO! An at-home laser tag setup. (Not the worst prize, actually.)

So, the weekend was alright. It's just the rest of the week that has not been it.

Fall 2024 classes started Monday, so you know the traffic has been horrendous and the students think they own the place. I did, however, get a parallel spot 2/4 days this week. There have only been a few mental breakdowns in my office so far- somehow, none of them me.

Yet.

Sims 4 Build: Meditations Event Venue (and Suite)

Quite a delay, you know, wedding preparation and moving houses (but all so worth it.) Here is our wedding venue decorated for our big day... in Sims.

5 Months

To get tan and fit for the best day of my life.

Tunechi in Tulsa

Who that said they gon' beat Lil Wayne?
You don't wan' start Weezy 'cause the F is for
Finish Ya. Also, Cameron's 18th Birthday!
Seeing Lil Wayne at the BOK Center was a dream come true. I bought us the [suddenly cheap AF] floor tickets just hours before, and Caleb and I met Cameron for dinner and Young Moolah, baybee! You only live once, that's the motto, YOLO.
It was so freakin' amazing.

Wedding Update 2/26/2024

Save the Dates ORDERED yesterday after we received our breath-taking engagement photos on Friday. I can't choose my favorites, so here are all the best ones that will also go on Instagram.

Bridal Party Proposals
(on Ed's Birthday!)

Valentines 2024

Joe's, George's, and bringing Mom's 1988 prom dress back in style with my dapper love.

Many compliments, and at least 3 comparisons to Princess Peach. Nice.

Dr. Lawrence Pasternack

made the choice to leave this Earth last night, January 30, 2024. Dr. Gelfand called me hysterically at 8:17 AM today, so I sped makeupless and shoeless to the office. And now that Dr. Gelfand has made the heartbreaking phone calls, the whole office feels the loss. Even if some people didn't get along with him, he was a well-respected educator and man. He will be missed by friends, family, colleagues, and students. I wish I had taken his vague email more seriously.

And this terrible event leads me to my soapbox: you never know what someone is going through, and you don't want to be the reason someone regresses. Similarly, a bad day does not mean a bad life- although I have no idea what he was going through- and suicide is not the answer or solution. It may sound cliche, but it truly transfers the pain onto someone else.

Wedding Planning Update

We have offically secured our venue and our date- September 27, 2024 at Meditations Events in Stillwater. It will be so amazing. We have also ordered our invitations (out of order, but there was a sale) so our next step is finding a photographer, scheduling engagement pictures, and getting our save the dates! It's been a little stressful but super fun so far.

We're Engaged!! What!!

Caleb proposed on December 26, 2023. What a beautiful life- I get to spend it with my person, my true love, my best friend!💗

We were with his family in Branson, MO opening Christmas gifts. His parents hid the ring in his gift for him. I was completely surprised, as my face gave away, but it was the easiest yes I've ever said.

His entire immediate family was in attendance, and my parents and Holten were on FaceTime. It was so special, so cozy, and so us. I could not love someone more than I love Caleb, and I am so lucky that he loves me, too.

#HannahGoesHolmes2024!

Rancher's Club Date

fancy dinner reservation at the Rancher's Club on campus

bacon clothesline

Another Life Update

We kinda been knew we wanted to get married and spend the rest of our lives together since about the first week. We're not officially engaged or anything, but we have started the wedding planning process: as in, date, colors, and wedding party picked- venue tours, tie samples, and announcement planning to be had, soon.

Just a wild ride and I'm thankful to be on it with him. These pictures are from our 11/19/2023 Harvey Christmas card photos (cute!!!!)

Halloween 2023

Double Joker Karaoke

All the Joker+Harley power couple hotness and tattoos (without the toxicity.)

All Sports Weekend

All sports, all weekend!

Left: OSU Homecoming,
October 28, 2023 7:00 PM
a cold, 38° WIN over Cincinatti
(made better by an OU loss)

Right: (first 23-24 home game)
OKC Thunder v.
Denver Nuggets
October 29, 2023 2:30 PM
an even colder, rainier loss
made better by Deep Deuce Grill
and my new #2
Shai Gilgeous-Alexander jersey (thanks Mom and Dad!)

Things are definitely crazy right now. I can't explain how much is changing in such a short period

Life Update

of time, but I can say that I'm cool with it- for now. Nova... not so much. We'll get there. What a life!

That FavChef Competition I Did

I really never posted about this when it happened? Well, I sliced 5 entire vegetables for a [meatball?]crockpot meal last night, so it reminded me.

I 'competed' in an online competition held by the Food Network, in which I created a profile that had pictures of all the food I had cooked. (Which, while not that impressive, ended me at 15th in my group!)

ECU Homecoming 2023

The Squad plus Caleb had a great first half of ECU's 2023 Homecoming, before the lightning delay and eventual cancellation. Then, we all had a blast at Bison Witches' karaoke. My people!

My life!💓

Still Asking How

How is it possible to be in this much love with somebody or something? I never in my life expected to feel this way, or find the kind of love that makes me smile when I wake up. Caleb makes my life feel like a movie every day. It also turns out that physical touch and PDA are not my enemy when I'm with the one. The one?? What? I'm so excited to marry this dude and live with him forever and have beautiful babies and a beautiful life.

Every day we wake up and ask each other how life can be like this. Every day, we say how much we love each other and how we don't deserve this, but we do, and I am so lucky. How romantic.

Back on 10/5 to say that we're planning a late Spring or early Fall wedding, we are so so alike, and I've never loved someone so ferociously. We're going to do forest green, teal, and gold, buy affordable, ethical wedding rings, and it's going to be amazing.

me, speechless, for once

Our grad student, Mary, just walked in and handed me this...

Along with a note, in which she thanks me for helping her with everything, requests that we be friends, and explains that this is her first time drawing a portrait of a non-African person.

dude. what. this is the coolest job ever with the coolest people ever.

I'm so glad I ended up here.

Rocklahoma 2023

Now that I have had a week to recover, I can fully express how wild and exciting Rocklahoma 2023 was.

I survived the sun, dirt, loud music, alcohol, crowdsurfing, and masses of people, and brought back beads, pictures, and so many memories with the love of my life and his besties. We're already planning and ordering for next year.

4 Week Anniversary

gonna marry this dude 8.28.2023

Apartment Flooded!

waaAaaaAAAHH! life was too good! Caleb and I got back to my apartment around 2:30 PM yesterday and my A/C condensation line busted in my bathroom ceiling. Everything wet in the bathroom, through the carpet to the bedroom door. I guess I'm thankful it wasn't worse, but you should've seen the state I was in last night. I am so glad Caleb was there to help me sort through things (and he even took all my moldy shit to wash at his place this morning.) I think it will be okay... but the constant Blink notifications aren't any comfort.
- 8/21/2023

Carnival Vista 2023

official

Pool Party

Given that I have had no indication that anyone reads this (and if you do... aw!) this is going to be a doozy. An ongoing week-long story.

To preface, I'm never throwing a pool party for my Stillwater friends again because no one shows up. Except one...
This beautiful human I met one week ago today (7/31/2023) showed up 15 minutes early. We met last Monday, where we- along with Chris and Brandon- won first place at Stonecloud Trivia! Then, Wednesday, we all watched the U.S. Women's Soccer team tie the Netherlands. It was there that everyone said they would love a pool party, so I invited them all. I sent a true invitation text on Friday, and got beautiful human's number from Chris. To say we've been talking nonstop is an understatement.

Although no one else showed up to the pool (except Heather and Melle... at 7:30 PM) it was still a great evening, that turned into a deep conversation, then we went inside to "charge his phone." We never came back out, and he has stayed with me the last two nights (no sex! (yet!)) He told me he loved me last night. I'm not quite ready for that, but I'm closer than I ever thought I would be again. So. Wild.

Update at 2:38 PM: he has now requested to be in a relationship on Facebook, and to share our iPhone locations with each other. This is so much! Good!

ooo I have a chicken sally sandy and pasta sal

to the tune of that song I keep humming from I think Tom & Jerry

Also, I got my hair cut off, and I love it so so so much. Huge thanks to Khoa and Co. in Stillwater. 😍

It's just me, Han!

Been a while, oops. I have had a really great summer so far, with pool time, karaoke and vibes with my squad, and lots of time with my family! The Norman Community Band, featuring Ed and I, has our concert tomorrow, 7/20/2023 at 7:30 PM in the OU Catlett Center! After, we're going to karaoke in Noble!

Speaking of karaoke... I have found a new hobby that I really seem to enjoy (sober and drunk!) It gives me the attention and recognition I miss from marching band. It also gives me an excuse to show everyone how I can rap Forever by Eminem (feat. Drake, Kanye West, and Lil Wayne) but also do Sh-Boom by The Chords. Nice.

My 25th Birthday PARTY

All is well that ends well, right? Well, whatever.

I had a good weekend at home with my family. Things were peaceful! Mom and I went to Crest and a few great garage sales, then some guy was selling plants in his driveway- best find ever. We met the whole fam at Luigi's for dinner, then went back to our house for gifts, cake and ice cream, and pictures. Ed came around 8 PM, and Holten drove us to Up-Down's Adult Prom, which was pretty awesome (even if we only stayed for two hours.) Then, on Sunday, Holten and I painted a Mother's Day flowerpot, I took a fat nap, and came home home.

My 25th Birthday

Oh, how things can change in a week.

Today is May 16th, 2023, one day after the most memorable birthday of my life: and not in a positive way.

The story really started on Sunday, after a nice Mother's Day lunch, when my friends and I grouped up at 'the commune.' My team won three games of beer pong in a row, we watched the chickens, and listened to some philosophical acoustic guitar. Then, we decided to go to one of few bars open on Sunday in Stillwater- The Great White Buffalo.

It was fun. We played some pool, ordered Great Value frozen pepperoni pizza, and laughed, among other things. We stayed until they closed at 1 AM, and decided to stay the night at someone's house. (Thankfully, this house was across Perkins Road from my apartment, which becomes important.) It gets fuzzy after that, probably because of the shots and it being the middle of the night. All I remember is laughing, then being yelled at, then crying. I walked home barefoot. Thankfully, it was only 1/4 of a mile. Nobody came after me.

So, I called into work and spent my entire actual birthday crying in bed! Those same friends got me out to dinner, which was nice, but I also can't shake the memory of walking home alone at 3 AM. Are they truly my friends? Were they also just drunk?

To make matters worse, I didn't hear from my parents at all until I called them last night at 8 PM. They never once said happy birthday. They immediately began the phone call with disappointment and concern, which is appreciated, but not for the reasons they use. I need support after an altercation with friends, not to be told that my behavior is concerning. The only reason I want to try everything is because they wouldn't let me and I think I'm missing out.

So, as I texted my father after the call:

"not even a happy birthday! on my birthday! a girl turns 25, tries a few drinks and questions God and she becomes truly alone! Nice!"

5/8/2023

Someone recently said that I've had a visible "skyrocket in confidence," and that I seem to be loving life. And I really, truly am.

One week until twenty-five, and I am happier than I have ever been, with a beautiful apartment, a steady job, wonderful friends, and family nearby. I think I'm beginning to find myself and get excited for the future. I have my whole life to do things, but also, why not now?

That's it. I'm getting my nostril pierced.

Update: I DID IT

LinkedIn Account Alert

I made a LinkedIn account: www.linkedin.com/in/handanharv. That's all.

Sims 4 Build: The Penthouse Gallery

It took me forever to actually finish this, after many bulldozes and sim breaks. I really wanted to do justice to MLys_simblr's breathtaking CC Museum Set that I somehow just found. I'm going to list the main CC packs used below.
Right now, there is a (true penthouse) apartment upstairs for my totally-cool gallery manager, full of even more cc.

CC LINKS
Museum Set Part 1: https://mlyssimblr.tumblr.com/post/146974139388/my-first-cc-post-this-set-includes-1
Museum Set Part 2: https://mlyssimblr.tumblr.com/post/153354021958/ats4-mlys-exhibition-set
Caribbean Paintings: https://xelennsimblr.tumblr.com/post/159375956933/caribbean-art-download-5-files-in-one-rar-archive
The Great Art Series: https://femmeonamissionsims.tumblr.com/post/143638696944/great-art-series-vol-1-finally-the-first-16
Sculpture Garden Pendant Lights: https://peacemaker-ic.tumblr.com/post/148881374465/yes-another-living-room-set-i-love-choice-and-i

First Friday Pizza Forum: Does God Exist?

4/7/2023
I'm back. A great debate with great turnout. Essentially, here were the points:

Dr. Neels: Although understanding some of the arguments against the existence of a Divine Creator, through science and the Fine Tuning Argument, he believes there is no other explanation for the creation of Earth specifically to host life. (My dad's favorite.)
Something must have set the parameters of life, and further, the principles of science.
In short, for him personally, the existence of God is the most comforting and pleasing idea for life, as there is a meaning to life, and there is hope where others would see despair.

Dr. Drohan: While there is a logical possibility of an omniscient, omnipresent god, where are they? Would they truly be concerned with being worshipped, and not maintaining order?
What do we, as a society or individually, gain from a belief in God? Many believers use their faith as an out for moral responsibility. People should strive to be good without faith as a reason, and one's meaning in life does not come from a 'divine purpose.'
The thought of no god gives him peace, and therefore, he does not believe there is one.

In all, a very interesting and respectful event, complete with a few questions:

For Drohan, from a butthurt kid: You state that worship is a waste of time, but you have a wedding ring- aren't dinners with your wife a waste of time, too? Also, many religious charities and organizations do much good in the world.
[I did not and do not understand the comparison of God to a spouse.] Dr. Drohan explained that while he doesn't agree with the legal concept of marriage, he and his wife wanted to throw a party and celebrate with their family and friends. He considers every day with his wife a celebration of life. He also agreed that there are some charities with religious backgrounds that do good, but many are uninclusive, divisive, and straight-up racist.

For both: Is there anything that could happen to make you immediately believe in God?
Dr. Neels believes in miracles, and believes in God. Dr. Drohan says that if he were to start hearing the voice of God, he would ask what he took last night, or start anti-psychotics.

Does God Exist?

Growing up in Oklahoma City, I wasn't even aware that there were beliefs aside from Christianity (see: Southern Baptism.) I just assumed everyone believed in the same god- my God- and if they didn't... they just didn't know.

But now, I'm asking: who is this elusive god? I've never 'felt the hand' or 'heard the voice' of God. Even when I did daily devotions, went to church, and was afraid of going to hell for smoking weed, I never got any confirmation. What gives?

Well, I'm thinking that there isn't a God at all. We probably just die, and become one with the Earth in burial- no afterlife, no soul, just nothingness. Which sounds better to me than going to hell for enjoying my life, that's for sure.

Anyway, there is a Philosophy Department pizza debate on 4/7 over if God exists. I will come back with my thoughts after a Calvinist and Athiest meet!

Holten's first ever alcohol: Fireball, at his request

Holten's 21st Birthday :')

I cannot even believe this, but we celebrated my baby brother's twenty-first birthday this weekend.

After a family party with pizza and cookie cake on Friday, we got the squad together (our four plus Ed and Caleb) for a Fireball shot (see left),
Texas Roadhouse, and Up Down- the awesome 21+ arcade bar in OKC.

Holten compared the Fireball to cough syrup, but liked the mixed drinks at Up Down. He did not like my vodka cran, but to be honest, neither do I.

My parents "won't condone drinking," but I will!
Do whatever brings you joy in this short life!

Next Big [Sims] Idea

Trying to decide what to build/play next on Sims (4). They recently released infants, which, are so cute and awesome and for me, not broken (but we'll see when I turn updated mods back on.) I made parents and twins, but they are needy, so I'm thinking just one. Ha.

Been three days and I'm still thinking. Maybe an art gallery/studio, or a country home with a cow and chickens. Or, I could remodel something (again) in San Myshuno. Or a mansion on the water... that's a big undertaking. I think I'll go with the art gallery and small studio, in the penthouse in San Myshuno. It also now is going to have a giant rooftop pool. I need to download the "Entrance Fee" Mod so the sim can get paid when people visit!

Here's the gallery idea and a cute non-binary Sim that will run it:

El Osentowski

Bathroom Break

I told myself I should go take a bathroom break before Scott comes in and gets going this morning. I took three [too many] shots last night in celebration of Justin's promotion (on a Monday, no less) but I think I'm in the best shape of all of us! Yay, Justin!

Sims 4 Build: 741 Parkshore Drive

Created for the Espinoza family with tons of custom content. Enjoy many photos.

Kiana

February 21: It’s been nine years since I found out in band class that my best friend hung herself in her parent’s garage, and they had to stop the school bus service so her little sister wouldn’t find her. Nine years and four days since the last time I talked to her, probably about myself, because I never stopped to think about how hard of a time she was having. Her mother and I put the picture of our junior high band party in her casket.

As many times as I’ve blamed myself, I’ve tried to remind myself that others’ final decisions- and fate- isn’t up to me. I don’t know who it’s up to, because truly, what kind of a God would allow this to happen? She had so much more life to live.

There was a time when I couldn’t understand how she felt, until I thought my world was falling down around me. Then, I wasn’t thinking about those whose lives would be shattered if I was gone, I just wanted the pain to stop. So, Kiana, I understand. I hope you’re finally at peace. And I hope I will see you again.

What is this?

Did I buy a domain just to be able to share my thoughts that should go on Twitter?
Not exactly. I've always known that a professional website is a must-have, but have been updating my Senior Project Wix page, until now...

handanharv.art is born! And is impressive! And is only $12 plus tax a year!

And I made an extra lil page for me. A blog, if you will.

March 2✺, 2✺23

Thoughts from the Top 👁

Living Through Another Historical Event